Sana lang'y Nasa Tamang Kamay Sila Ngayon (Feelingera Post Re Teaching Job Application)

I had my reasons why I wanted to be employed already, wherever possible.

It's been three months already, but nobody from my starred emails asked me for interview appointments. A friend, O, poked me to apply to where she applied, MNOP. The position applied for? Social Science instructor. I do want to be a teacher.. of children, or those younger than my age. But, why not. I am more than ready for anything today (again, i have my reasons why). P, MNOP HR Assistant, told me that the university is in need of Social Sciences instructors for some of the existing instructors are having a hard time doing their master's theses and teaching at the same time, and they don't want to leave their students hanging at the middle of the semester. In this case, I would like to be one with their goal. Who wants to be left on air without any precautions? Well, 'No Classes' signage is a very jolly and relieving one, but not always. Students would soon be hungry for some substance from an empty classroom and quiet blackboard. Another thing, Mr. Q, my initial interviewer, told me that the campus wanted to have accreditation. I don't know why, but my heart for that university gets growing an inch. I felt the need to contribute to its plans and actions for accreditation.

Mr. Q asked me if could teach any more subjects other than Social Science. He recommended me holding a class for an English course. Lol no. Di ko nga alam kung paano gamitin ang live in, live on, at live at, eh. Literature nalang po. Sige po pati, Physics. Lol These are the subjects he wrote on my evaluation paper: Social Science, Psychology, NSTP Literacy, blahblah. I forgot the others already.

I hate how I passed the three stages (initial interview, teaching demonstration, and psychological exam) and failed on the last one (panel interview). Was it how I dressed? How I fixed my hair? Was it between choosing one between the two of us coming from the same university? Talong talo ako sa credentials kung ganon. Why would they choose an ordinary graduate over a Cum Laude? I don't know really. No regrets with what I answered on their questions, for I know that I am speaking from my heart, speaking of the truth. I know that I have defended my answers with compassion. Funny that among the three of us who were in line for panel interview that day, I was the one who felt comfortable and somewhat sure about acing the results (well, of course, that set quietly on my mind). Back to HR Department, P called us one by one. That's when I learned I was not accepted, while the other two, including O, were accepted.

There might be something wrong with me. Whatever that is, I wish my system can change.

I felt sad, yes. Sobra akong nanghihinayang. That was because of the plans, suggestions, and strategies running on my mind for the school as mentioned above. I even felt a tear crumpled on my eyelid remembering how O spoke her mind, when she was with me and my mom, degrading the abilities of the university's students. [NV: Hindi naman sa ano.. pero diba.. MNOP.. yung mga estudyante nila hindi naman ganon ka ano.. Kaya -magsuspoonfeed talaga tayo.] Strong phrases. Nagulat talaga ako sa sinabi niyang yun. Ramdam kong matatalino at may ibubuga yung mga estudyanteng yun (at sinabi ko to kay Mama). Teka. May ganon palang side ang kabaitan ni O. Oh, how I love people.

I am happy for O, yes! I just hate how she thinks about her soon students that way. WTH. She hadn't been with them even for an hour that day (though teaching demo niya nun, hindi students ang kaharap nya, mga evaluators). Lakas manghusga. Sana lang magbago ang perception niya, lalo pa't isa na syang guro, guro ng mga estudyanteng minsan ko nang ninais na makasama at makapalitan ng opinyon.